UPSC fighter

The fighter in me

The hunger is back. The heat is on. The last lap of the race has begun. I am running. I have finished my optional subject thoroughly and revising it now. GS is not over, but then, what man can claim a victory over the syllabus of civil services general studies.

My mind reverberates with the dream. My heart beats to that rhythm. I live the dream. I am alive. I realize now that I was dead all these years in corporate world. That was not competition. It was plain ass licking and butt kicking. The fighter in me was hibernating. Now he is up. What a sight to see him in full battle gear.

Trust me to fight till the last breath. I always miss the dark middle ages of the world when fighting was the key to survival. When warriors were worshipped. When hands held swords and arms ruled the world. How I long to be there. How I long to fight without bother for my very existence which may cease after the fight.

I am born at the wrong place, wrong time. In modern times, I should have been born in Afghanistan at least. I would have joined those nomadic fighting troops. The joy of killing. Big time killing. Just for the pure fun of killing. Not for profit, not for money, but for the pure joy of the act.

I am unfortunately in a world where killing is sin. I search outlets for the fighter in me. The competitive exam is a place. Yes, it gives similar fun. The joy of Giant Killing. They say, civil service exam is the toughest of all. They say, engineering subject is not to be taken. They say, you can’t do it in short time. It takes years. They say, you should have it in you. That’s some challenge then.

Now, I say, let’s fight. Let’s see if I can win. Let’s see if the opponent is tougher than I am. Let’s see if I can kill this time. Trust a fighter to fight till the last breath. Trust me to be a honest fighter. This is the test of the fighter in me. The arms are ready, the swords are drawn, and the arrows are tipped. The battle is about to start.

I miss the battle cries. I generate it within. I can generate the cries whenever I close my eyes. Every neuron of the brain shouts aloud to my command. The heartbeat goes up frantically, the nerves stiffen, blood pumps up, the pupils converge and I am in the mid of full fledged battle.

A single minded dedication. Yes, it took months to come to this stage. Took guts to cut off all relationships. One mind. One thought. One fight at a time. I now understand what it means to be a Zen. I would give anything to be in this state for ever. Let the fight begin. I am ready.

Tiru

P.S: Next blog after the first battle of prelims. After may 14th

Newton's law applied to love

Newton's law and love

Well….How good was Newton? I mean, how good he was when he proclaimed that law of universal (mind the word universal) gravitation which basically says that between any two bodies in universe, there exists a force of attraction and this attraction is directly proportional to the product of masses  and inversely proportional to the square of the distance.
Now, as Newton included the term ‘universal’, and proclaimed the law as ‘Universal law of gravitation’ I guesstimated that it must hold for any ‘body’ anywhere in the universe. Agree? Well, you won’t after you read what happened with me. I applied the same law for attracting girls. Well, being 'universal' it should applicable right?
I found that this law simply doesn’t hold. That’s why I am writing this blog. So, at last, after around four hundred years of formation of this so called greatest law, at least there is one exception found (OK, I don’t know theory of relativity).
I was initially thin (less mass) when at school. I was in love with another frail young girl in my class (still lesser mass). She was never attracted to me (initial condition). I applied Newton’s law now. As I couldn’t do anything with our masses, I thought of decreasing the distance between us. I exchanged my place with another classmate who sat nearer to her. Still, nothing happened. No attraction. Now, only one thing remained. Increase the mass. Well, even without any attraction between, we used to speak to each other as we were in same class. So, I once told her to eat well at home (in fact, I wanted her to remain that way but for the sake of Newton I had to suggest her otherwise). She was mighty wild at me that day and pressed me hard to tell me why I said that to her. I didn’t give the reason for the fear that she might think I am a ‘crack’. She told me to get lost with my crazy idea. I was devastated. Now only one thing remained. Increase my mass. Oops….my heredity has some limitations here. Nevertheless, I joined a gym. Worked out solid and by the time I build some sensible mass on my 6 feet 2 inch tall skeleton, I was out of school and into the college. The girl was long gone defying Newton’s law of gravity with another guy who had a micro layer of skin on skeleton. Nothing in between.
In college too I continued the gym at the cost of all fun in the world. Every evening when others enjoyed their time, I was huffing and puffing in the gym, increasing my mass. It fetched me a gold medal in university level bodybuilding competition and a bronze in power lifting but never a girl. All the time Newton was taking a beating everywhere. I saw guys who couldn’t walk straight and without masses in front or back (their jeans would come down and one could put a bunch of roses in their rear cleavage) hanging out with girls with still lesser masses.
I still had faith in Newton and all those scientists who still vouch by that stupid law. In retrospect, I should have guessed that they had realised that it was a joke or in the Indian case, had arranged marriages.
I came out of college. I had a job now. I gave a last chance to Newton. I tried falling in love with girls having good mass. In office, in parks, restaurants, cinema, wherever I could find any girl with considerable mass, I would look at her (rather stare) with desperate eyes and a prayer for Newton in my heart. I would also go near to decrease the distance. Still it didn’t work.
I know it. This whole world played a joke on me. Saala, that Newton. The biggest joker among all.  He should not have used the term universal. He should have used ‘heavenly bodies’ or something like that. He has ruined my life and I don’t know what to do with the mass I have grown. I look like hulk now.
So bhailog, if you fellas think Newton’s law still holds, better get up. Better late than never. Get out of that slumber and understand the truth. NEWTON’S UNIVERSAL LAW OF GRAVITATION SUCKS when applied to non heavenly bodies.
Hold on, I just saw a girl with some mass moving into this cyber café. Let me try my luck. I am going closer to her. Will keep you posted.

Bye

Tiru - the Victim of Newton.