The aspirant's last sigh
I attended my last attempt at preliminary exam yesterday. I never thought I would reach this far, i mean, till the last attempt. I am not very happy, but not very sad too. I am a veteran now. I remember when i used to look up in awe at people who were giving their last attempt. I admired their courage, the smile of knowledge on their face (or was it a smirk, at the irony of the whole thing), and spent time with them, gaping at their lips lest i miss some divine wisdom flowing out of their experienced (or fucked?) brain. Now, I am a veteran. The fouth timer. When i look at the first timers, like the ones who caught me yesterday in the break between optionals and GS, I knew why they have that shine in their eyes while speaking to me. Yes, they were looking at my fucked up face. Lest some wisdom shit oozes out of my lips and slips away and dissolves in the din of the ever vibrating ether. They wanted to catch it and make the most of it in their preparations. Or use it as lubricant to ease into the system of this examination. And I doled out shit for around 15 minutes, till the bell rang for us to get in.
Somehow, time is flying. A girl adopted me as her husband last month. I am married now. And look at the timing, I married and then went for a honeymoon to sikkim, 10 days after failing in previous mains and 25 days before the next preliminary exams. Anyway, all's well that ends well. The exam went well. In fact, in all this halla hoopla, i never realized that i failed badly in last mains. The marks make me cringe, even in my dreams. I got the marks when i was honeymooning and somehow the warmth of love sobered the shock.
Anyway, i am thinking to change my optional from mech engg to something saner. Like Pali or Philosophy. Let's see. Any suggestion in this regard is most welcome.
Yesterday, in the break, among the shit grabbers, there was one boy who asked
"Can you tell me why exactly you failed, or where you think you went wrong, as i think that would help me more than any other thing."
And I replied, "That my boy, is exactly what I am asking myself. All the time."
I have the answer, but i am not sure whether I am right or wrong. Only time will tell.
Tiru
I attended my last attempt at preliminary exam yesterday. I never thought I would reach this far, i mean, till the last attempt. I am not very happy, but not very sad too. I am a veteran now. I remember when i used to look up in awe at people who were giving their last attempt. I admired their courage, the smile of knowledge on their face (or was it a smirk, at the irony of the whole thing), and spent time with them, gaping at their lips lest i miss some divine wisdom flowing out of their experienced (or fucked?) brain. Now, I am a veteran. The fouth timer. When i look at the first timers, like the ones who caught me yesterday in the break between optionals and GS, I knew why they have that shine in their eyes while speaking to me. Yes, they were looking at my fucked up face. Lest some wisdom shit oozes out of my lips and slips away and dissolves in the din of the ever vibrating ether. They wanted to catch it and make the most of it in their preparations. Or use it as lubricant to ease into the system of this examination. And I doled out shit for around 15 minutes, till the bell rang for us to get in.
Somehow, time is flying. A girl adopted me as her husband last month. I am married now. And look at the timing, I married and then went for a honeymoon to sikkim, 10 days after failing in previous mains and 25 days before the next preliminary exams. Anyway, all's well that ends well. The exam went well. In fact, in all this halla hoopla, i never realized that i failed badly in last mains. The marks make me cringe, even in my dreams. I got the marks when i was honeymooning and somehow the warmth of love sobered the shock.
Anyway, i am thinking to change my optional from mech engg to something saner. Like Pali or Philosophy. Let's see. Any suggestion in this regard is most welcome.
Yesterday, in the break, among the shit grabbers, there was one boy who asked
"Can you tell me why exactly you failed, or where you think you went wrong, as i think that would help me more than any other thing."
And I replied, "That my boy, is exactly what I am asking myself. All the time."
I have the answer, but i am not sure whether I am right or wrong. Only time will tell.
Tiru
