Babu and the title
Standing with sumit with a cup of tea at an obscure corner of jia sarai and watching the girls pass by is a favorite pastime. Well, the time is always running short but then, one needs some break during the day and this is the best way. The girls too seem to enjoy it. Ok, let me bring out the complete picture. Zoom out a bit. There are many sumits and tirus who are holding on to their cup of tea and standing at various chowks and watching girls. One never knows whether the girls are looking at you or the next guy. Neway, it hardly matters as long as WE are (or shall I say…I am) looking at girls. And if some girl indeed looks at you, it is such a surprise that one actually turns around and looks at the guy behind just to make sure she is not looking at an the other guy. By the time, one turns back, either the girl is gone or she is really looking at someone else. India is a land of competition and this is no exception. The moment one loses concentration, the opportunity is gone. Forever…never to come back.
Couple of days ago, we were standing at one such corner and sumit spotted some known face (no, not a girl…he is as unresourceful as I am) and said hello. A short man accompanied by another medium sized man are walking towards us.
“Hi sumit, how are you?” – the short man
“Sab theek hai…how are you?” replies sumit
“Life as usual yaar” – Shorty retorts
“how’s the training going on?” – Sumit
“Absolutely fine, we booze every day and by the time the hangover is over, we are back to another booze session”
“By the way, meet my friend Tiru” Sumit introduces
“Hi, I am Sanjay IRS”.
The ‘IRS’ comes as if he has been saying it all his life. Like one says the initials. Tirumala KV. Varma GVDPK, Subramanian KK, Narasimha PVR, Rao CNR. What is not explained is that it is not the initials but the position he holds in the huge maze of government designations. IRS means Indian Revenue Services. He is under training in the Indian Revenue Services as a probationer.
So…whatever was associated with Sanjay makes way for IRS, the designation that speaks more and perhaps commands some price tag in dowry market. What with a simple mishra, puri, khan, chatterji etc. They would never match the might of ‘IRS’. The man is no longer a name, he is a designation, and he believes it. He lives it. He breathes it. I am XYZ IRS. Iam ABC IAS. I am KLM IPS.
That’s how it is in the corridors of power I guess.
We had Barons, knights, lords and various assholes to rule over us. Nothing has changed, only designations replaced and hierarchies shuffled. Now we have IAS, IPS, IRS etc…
The constitutions says that all Indian are equal and the supreme court quashed the use of awarded titles like Padma shri before or after the name as that showed inequality between citizens. The awards are not suffixes or prefixes and shouldn’t be used as such in invitation cards etc, the supreme court had ruled in 1996. What about designations, your honour? Can the court then change the way the officers introduce themselves? At least, can the academy, which trains them, tell the officers that the designations are not suffixes to their name?
“ Hello, I am Tirumala” I replied
“What are you preparing for?” IRS asked, as it's possible that at Jia Sarai you may be preparing for GATE or IES or some sundry exams.
“Civil services”
“O, achcha, choose your optionals carefully, first attempt right, then you have to work hard, blah blah blah……blah blah blah”
I sipped on my tea while the babu blabbered out all his unasked suggestions on preparation strategy and then started advising sumit on what strategy sumit should adopt (again without asking) for future preparations. Sumit nodded while he spoke approvingly and smiled at him continuously. He wished us best of luck and left.
“Asshole, he is an OBC and became an IRS by the virtue of quota, now he introduces himself as if he has hit the bulls eye all by himself” – Sumit blurted after he left.
I was not in a position to comment even though I didn’t exactly agree with his last statement. The IRS had sucked too much of energy out of me.
With the cup in hand, I walk back to room.
Some day, I might be a babu. I don’t want to hear myself saying,
“Hi, I am Tirumala…. IAS, or IRS or any shit between I and S”.
May God give me enough strength to retain my present sanity of mind.
Couple of days ago, we were standing at one such corner and sumit spotted some known face (no, not a girl…he is as unresourceful as I am) and said hello. A short man accompanied by another medium sized man are walking towards us.
“Hi sumit, how are you?” – the short man
“Sab theek hai…how are you?” replies sumit
“Life as usual yaar” – Shorty retorts
“how’s the training going on?” – Sumit
“Absolutely fine, we booze every day and by the time the hangover is over, we are back to another booze session”
“By the way, meet my friend Tiru” Sumit introduces
“Hi, I am Sanjay IRS”.
The ‘IRS’ comes as if he has been saying it all his life. Like one says the initials. Tirumala KV. Varma GVDPK, Subramanian KK, Narasimha PVR, Rao CNR. What is not explained is that it is not the initials but the position he holds in the huge maze of government designations. IRS means Indian Revenue Services. He is under training in the Indian Revenue Services as a probationer.
So…whatever was associated with Sanjay makes way for IRS, the designation that speaks more and perhaps commands some price tag in dowry market. What with a simple mishra, puri, khan, chatterji etc. They would never match the might of ‘IRS’. The man is no longer a name, he is a designation, and he believes it. He lives it. He breathes it. I am XYZ IRS. Iam ABC IAS. I am KLM IPS.
That’s how it is in the corridors of power I guess.
We had Barons, knights, lords and various assholes to rule over us. Nothing has changed, only designations replaced and hierarchies shuffled. Now we have IAS, IPS, IRS etc…
The constitutions says that all Indian are equal and the supreme court quashed the use of awarded titles like Padma shri before or after the name as that showed inequality between citizens. The awards are not suffixes or prefixes and shouldn’t be used as such in invitation cards etc, the supreme court had ruled in 1996. What about designations, your honour? Can the court then change the way the officers introduce themselves? At least, can the academy, which trains them, tell the officers that the designations are not suffixes to their name?
“ Hello, I am Tirumala” I replied
“What are you preparing for?” IRS asked, as it's possible that at Jia Sarai you may be preparing for GATE or IES or some sundry exams.
“Civil services”
“O, achcha, choose your optionals carefully, first attempt right, then you have to work hard, blah blah blah……blah blah blah”
I sipped on my tea while the babu blabbered out all his unasked suggestions on preparation strategy and then started advising sumit on what strategy sumit should adopt (again without asking) for future preparations. Sumit nodded while he spoke approvingly and smiled at him continuously. He wished us best of luck and left.
“Asshole, he is an OBC and became an IRS by the virtue of quota, now he introduces himself as if he has hit the bulls eye all by himself” – Sumit blurted after he left.
I was not in a position to comment even though I didn’t exactly agree with his last statement. The IRS had sucked too much of energy out of me.
With the cup in hand, I walk back to room.
Some day, I might be a babu. I don’t want to hear myself saying,
“Hi, I am Tirumala…. IAS, or IRS or any shit between I and S”.
May God give me enough strength to retain my present sanity of mind.
Tiru
