UPSC aspirant's sigh

So...what do you do?

Came back day before yesterday. Had been to my hometown. I am out of job for the past one year and one month to be precise. Preparing for the civil services you know. he heh heh.
I dreaded meeting relatives this time. Not because i don't like to look at their poker faces, but because i hate the first question that shoots from their mouth and the feeling that follows.
"So....what are you doing now?". Gee....the most difficult question to answer especially when i know that they know what i am doing...i.e. nothing. The conversation goes something like this (inevitably every time....):
Relative: "So...what do you do?"
"I am preparing for civil services"
Relative: "What is that?"
 "IAS exam you know"
Relative: "So you want to be a collector?"
"Yeah...trying"
Relative: "But i heard you have to bribe to clear the exam?"
(grinning) "No...nothing like that"
Relative: "But what about your job?"
(what the fuck is he bothered about my job??grr...)"I quit it for preparing for this exam"
Relative: "I mean you quit that job for appearing for this exam. You could have left the job after you cleared the exam"
(man..you are touching my private parts)"NO..the exam is very tough and one needs lot of dedication to clear it...so job and preparations can't be done simultaneously"
Rel: "But why does it take more than a year for this exam...so long a procedure or are you failing again and again"
I: (shit...there i have to go again in full detail)"No this exam is of three stages.....blah blah blah (all details of exam)...."
Rel: "So you are in just second stage now"
I: (fucker...what do you know how difficult it is to reach just second stage...try once)"Yeah"
Rel: "But i still don't believe you can get in without bribe...one of my friend was telling that they ask lot of money"
I: (you fell into the trap. I know how to chase you off now)"I believe you might be true..i guess i will fall short of money and all that....would you like to contribute?...few lakhs only you know...and you know i can return it to you once i become collector"
At this point, the relative tries to escape. Somehow. And i let him go.
The cycle repeats. One more relative...similar questions...same answers....i hate the detailing part. I hate answering stupid stuff. The pitiful look they give me when they talk to me (especially lady relatives).....bechara...he has gone insane....left his job for an exam?...how ridiculus....nonsense...people marry and settle in his age...look at him...can't he learn from his cousins who are happily married recently....he won't get girl after few years...anyway who will give him girl when they know he is mad and leaves jobs for his fancy.....lunatic...crazy...wants to become an IAS....we want him to fail....O God please fail him....what our sons and daughters can't do how can this fanatic think of it..and what if he really does it...O Manjunatha...please fail him........and it goes on....I can help if they don't understand about the exam but what about jealous feelings. I have not even cleared my mains. I myself don't know whether i will get through. But my relatives are very sure that i will get through and are already jealous. May God bless them for keeping so much faith in me. I will try to fulfill their wishes.
Laughable. Insane...me? I don't know......them...i don't know.
I am back in Jia sarai. No one asks me now," So...what do you do?"
Here everyone is doing the same thing. Preparing for one or the other exam. It's so comforting.
I don't do anything.

Tiru