The exams got over...a year ends....a chapter closes.....
The final bell rang. The invigilator took away my psychology paper II answer sheet. For a moment, I felt empty...yes...empty to the core. My 'mains' exams got over yesterday. I waited for the exams to get over for long time. I didn't know that it feels so empty after that. I have nothing to do now except to wait for results. Had my exams gone bad, I could have started my preparations for next attempt. But now that the exams have gone well, I don't feel like studying. That amplifies my emptiness. I came back to the room. Put on my mp3 player. Dashboard confessional's song comes on:
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of which has caught my eye (guess i got that right...)
And roped me in So
mesmerizing, so
hypnotizing I am
captivated I am... Vindicated
yeah...kind of. I wondered why I find meanings in sundry songs only when I am in such moods. I have a train ticket to bangalore on 9th of this month. Don't know for sure if i would go home. I don't know....it's just blank...i need to unwind...that's all i know...
I went out to get some tea. I saw an auto. A guy got down. Two bags...new fellow in jia sarai i guessed. Yeah..it was a year back...exactly on nov 1st last year, i had got down just like that. with two bags and a suitcase. A cycle completes. A year has passed. I am in a time wrap. In fact, jia sarai is a time wrap. whoever comes here, gets into this time wrap and comes out only if he gets selected in the exam or exhausts all his attempts. I have seen people turning 30. I have seen people leaving after failing 4 times. I have seen people getting into services.
Hope....joy...despair...darkness...fear....time...lonliness...emptiness....all shades coexist. Meanwhile i go on....i don't know what to do next....life is melting like the cigarette smoke going up and slowly disappearing. In thin air.
Just like that.
In Jia sarai.
The hustle bustle outside is the same. Just that i have grown a year older. Wise? I don't know. Only the results would tell. Or is it the time?The song continues....
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip,
against the current,
so let me slip away
so let me slip away
so let me slip away
so let me slip awaaaaay
Tiru
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